Another Mailbag!

Sabbatical Edition

I thought you were on sabbatical, so why are you still posting online?
I’m so glad you asked that question, Self.
While on sabbatical, I’m intentionally staying away from anything Episcopal, Diocese, and Mosaic related. But I’m still hanging out on Al Gore’s interweb. The writing, the TikToks/Reels — they’re my hobbies. Once they start feeling like work, I’m out. Cuz I don’t need another job. (If only I could earn a second income without a second job… ya know?)
Besides, Mailbags are extremely fun for me. I should note, some of these questions I’ve sat on for weeks. So if you ever meet me in person, and ask a question and expect me to give you a genuine, thought-provoking answer… mmmm… I may be catfishing you. I’ll most likely laugh awkwardly and point behind you and say, “whoa, what was that?” in hopes 1) you forget you asked that question or, less desired, 2) buy me time to find a way to say, “I have no friggin’ idea, but get back to me in a few weeks.”

I should also forewarn you: the more I do this… the more of the real me comes out… sarcastic and snarky. And sometimes pastoral.

Anyway, here we go. As always, these are actual questions that have come via email, DMs, and comments

What can we do as a church to be more like James and less like Paul?
First of all—what a question. Looks like we’re starting with a bang¹.
Ok, Paul says faith saves, James says faith without works is dead. It’s not a fight, it’s a balance. Paul gives us the why (you’re loved by God, no strings attached). James gives us the so what (if that love doesn’t move your hands and feet, it’s just lip service).
So if you want to be “more James,” make sure your church is known less for what it says and more for what it does. Feed, show up, repair, serve. Or as James might put it: stop tweeting (…threading? X’ing?) Bible verses and start living them.
At the end of the day, James and Paul need each other. Faith without works is empty, but works without faith quickly burn out. To be the kind of church Jesus imagines, we need Paul’s grace in our hearts and James’s urgency in our hands.
It’s all about balance… you know… yin and yang. Because I’m Asian.

Does me questioning things taught to be my faith/beliefs mean I have more of it or not enough? idk if that makes sense but basically does me questioning/arguing that Leviticus is being "anti-adultery" vs "anti-gay" mean im conforming to the world and away from God? or am I finally seeing the world thru HIS eyes vs the "beer goggles" given to me by the church. (Love everyone vs only the ones that believe as we do.)
Everyone, please remember: Questioning your faith doesn’t mean you have less faith. If anything, it can be a sign of a deeper, more authentic faith. Blind acceptance of everything you’ve been told isn’t the same as trust in God — it’s trust in the people who told you. Jesus himself challenged religious interpretations of his day, often pushing people back to God’s heart rather than the letter of the law. Asking if Leviticus is really about love and fidelity rather than a weapon against certain groups? That’s you wrestling with Scripture the way faithful people have for centuries. Wrestling is part of the tradition. Jacob wrestled with God and came away with a blessing — and a limp (but not a championship belt, whilst I have two that is completely unearned).

Any advice to someone who’s gonna be learning preaching for the first time?
Here’s what works (worked) for me. Give yourself time. Be open to constructive criticism. Figure out whose opinions matter to you — which means not everyone’s opinions or thoughts regarding you matters. That is 100% the truth. Listen to those voices, the ones you trust; the ones you know are gonna tell it to you straight because they love you. Believe me. OH. Believe me. Every person is going to have an opinion of how you should be and how you should preach.
What I did in my first year of seminary… I went to my local Blockbusters and Hollywood Videos (hey, I don’t need y’all to remind me of my age) and rented a bunch of standup comedy specials. And I watched how each one approached the craft differently. Standups because they have the capability of capturing an audience’s attention for an hour by just speaking. (Also, I strongly believe, especially in this season, that standup comedians carry the prophetic voice more than us clergy…)
You can be engaging while telling God’s story and how it is relevant to our lives today. Someone once said it takes 10 years to be comfortable with your voice (and style). I feel that’s true. I really got into my stride in my 30.
Also… try to preach God’s message through storytelling.
We love stories. We remember stories.
We don’t need academic lectures. Nobody likes to be lectured at. So avoid treating Sunday mornings as a lecture.
Remember: it’s not about you and what you know. Early on, the temptation is to tell people that you are qualified to stand in front of them every Sunday; to show the knowledge you’ve obtained along with your Masters of Divinity.
It’s not about you and what you know.
You don’t need to prove your scholastic accolades or you don’t need to impress them with your knowledge. 99% of your congregation members aren’t gonna care about what you know. They’re gonna care (remember) how you made them feel.
This is a gross generalization but my biggest pet peeve with my Episcopal clergy is that they treat the sermon as a lecture and there are very few storytellers amongst us. I briefly entertained the idea of getting a D.Min (doctors of ministry) in preaching/storytelling to which my friend, an Episcopal priest, told me “Don’t even look for Episcopal seminaries to have such a program. And if they did, don’t. We’re horrible preachers.” Which… unfair, but… fairly consistent. Part of it is, we treat the homily as a lecture and/or an afterthought.
Be unabashedly you. Be authentic. God called you to this because of who you are and not anyone else. Always have a learning heart and a desire to be better each and every time you have the privilege of preaching.
(Before some of you come at me for leaving God out of most of my answer here… first is… DUH. Why do I have to deliberately name God’s presence when God is all around us at all times? God’s spirit is lurking in these words).
Speaking of everyone and their pet platypus are gonna have an opinion on who you should be and how you should preach:

Okay, not necessarily a question. And this is the screenshot of the email I got— just to reassure you that real people send in some weird and annoying stuff… (this wasn’t really weird).
First. This only shows me that you may only have been part of an Anglo congregation, particularly a mainline Anglo congregation. After all, white mainline denomination folks are often called the Frozen Chosen.
Second. Then scroll past the damn video. lol.
Let’s not get into the history of white people labeling minorities all sorts of negative things (too loud; too angry; too whatever) because we refused to conform with the Anglo norms.
Third. Let’s also look at the optics of you, a white person, dictating how I, a person of color, should carry myself and my voice.
Listen, my feelings won’t be hurt if you never interacted with me again. You’re a total stranger and I don’t feel that I owe you anything. And truth is, maybe my work isn’t for you.
This says more about you, Dear Asker, than it does me. I don’t like how you present yourself. Will you please modify your behavior so that I am more comfortable with your content?
No. Hell no. Abso-f’ing-loutely not.

Are you comfortable swearing?
Absolutely not. I shit you not, I don’t swear at all.
I am. Too comfortably, perhaps. But, I remain professional in the pulpit and when I’m around church people.
Sometimes, I swear to make the situation less awkward. Years ago, I had this barber and we’d talk about everything. And he’d use unique combinations of swear words in our conversations. About 2 haircut sessions later… he finally asked me what I did for a living… and I told him I work at a non-profit (my first go-to answer, unless I’m wearing my collar… if someone asks me what I do when I’m wearing my collar… I feel like Bill Engvall: here’s your sign). He wasn’t happy with “non profit” so he kept asking what my non-profit’s involved in… and I told him it’s a church.
“Oh shit. You’re a pastor? This whole time? You were a pastor and I been cussing like a damn sailor the whole time in front of you? Oh man, you need to give a brother a heads up!” And I can tell that he was going through his head of all the “inappropriate” words he said while cutting my hair.
So I looked at him (through the mirror): “Dude. It’s just fucking words and I’m not gonna come back here if you start changing your shit on account of me. That’s gonna make all this more awkward.”
But then this one time, I was at the post office and on my way out, I meant to throw away the trash in my left hand, but tossed the items in my right hand in the trash which were my keys and AirPods.
Without thinking I let out an exasperated “fuuuuuuuuuuuccccccccckkkkkkkk”
And this sweet lady clutched her imaginary pearls so tightly I thought she was possibly having a heart attack. It took a second for me to realize, I was wearing my collar. I awkwardly apologized to the lady and hightailed it out of there.
So short answer: I do swear. Amongst friends; amongst other clergy. I don’t swear in professional settings. My social media presence? I try not to because the headache that comes with it is not worth it. If I get stupid emails about “being too loud” could you imagine…?
And I apologize for those of you who were caught off guard by this question and me not censoring myself. I just wanted to answer this question authentically.

How does one pray without ceasing? It just seems impossible…
Well. As Jesus said, with God all things are possible. Next question!
Just kidding.
Very many people find “praying without ceasing” impossible because they’ve been taught that prayer is almost exclusively about asking God for something. And honestly, if prayer is just handing God a cosmic shopping list, then yeah… it’s exhausting and unsustainable.
But prayer isn’t only about asking. It’s also listening. It’s gratitude. It’s confession. It’s being still. It’s aligning your heart with God’s heart. Kierkegaard put it like this: “The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays.” Prayer isn’t a tool to get God on board with our plans; it’s how we’re reshaped into people who can walk with God in the everyday.
So when Paul says “pray without ceasing,” he’s not telling us to repeat words all day like some kind of spiritual parrot. He’s pointing us toward a posture ; a way of living where every part of life can be prayer. Breathing can be prayer. Washing dishes can be prayer. Sitting in silence, driving to work, playing with your kids — prayer without ceasing is about being attuned to God in the ordinary.
Think of it less like endless words, more like keeping the line open. God’s always on the other end, whether you’re pouring your heart out or just… being.
So yeah, impossible if you think it’s nonstop talking. But if you see it as living in such a way that nothing is outside God’s presence? Then it’s actually pretty freeing.

What are the teams you support?
Did I not answer this before?
NFL: the Washington Commanders (also, uh… screw [trying to find a pg13 word] the Cowboys, yesterday, today, and forever).
NBA: the LAARP Clippers. Currently the oldest team in the league AND… hahaha boy… are we gonna be in big trouble if the investigation of Kawhi and Balmer turns out to be true.
MLB: Baseball’s boring. I can’t watch Baseball. But also, screw the Astros.
Soccer: Houston Dynamo; and listen, I was a fan of Hotspurs cuz of Son… but now that he’s not on that team… IDK hahahaha. but Tottenham.

Theres times we all feel a little "abandoned" by God. When I feel that, I just have to believe its true for my mental health because this cant be it. We cant be put here to suffer trials and tribulations for death to just be the grand finale. Does that mean my faith isnt enough, and ill go to hell, or is my faith still that of a mustard seed (though tiny) and enough?
Feeling abandoned by God is part of the human experience of faith. Even Jesus cried out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” That cry didn’t disqualify him from resurrection — and it won’t disqualify you from God’s love. Faith isn’t never doubting or never hurting; faith is holding on, even if it’s by your fingernails, and sometimes letting God hold you when you can’t hold on yourself. A mustard seed’s worth is still enough. Jesus said so, and who am I to argue?
If you ever hear someone say, “If you doubt, you’ll go to hell,” they’re talking about a god who is smaller and meaner than the one revealed in Jesus. The God we meet in Jesus is patient, loving, and not afraid of your questions. In fact, God invites them.
So no — you’re not failing. You’re growing. And growth often feels like disorientation before it feels like clarity.

Why do you have that Tupac Shakur book in the background of your videos ? Don’t you think that’s slightly inappropriate?
Of all the things to call me out for being inappropriate… you honed in on the Tupac book, huh? I took a look at your profile and you’re a staunch supporter of POTUS.
I… I don’t know… why are you focusing on Tupac and… you know… not some of the horrendous things uttered by POTUS?
I have that book there because 1) Tupac was a huge part of my adolescence and 2) it’s actually my brother’s book and he knows I’m never gonna return it to him. So every time I make a video from my home office, he sees it.
But, I just wanna share with you 3 of my favorite poems by 2pac:
The Rose that Grew from the Concrete
Did you hear about the rose that grew
from a crack in the concrete?
Proving nature's law is wrong
it learned to walk without having feet.
Funny it seems, but by keeping it's dreams,
it learned to breathe fresh air.
Long live the rose that grew from concrete
When no one else cared

Liberty Needs Glasses
excuse me but lady liberty needs glasses
and so does mrs justice by her side
both the broads r blind as bats
stumbling thru the system
justice bumbed into mutulu and
trippin on geronimo pratt
but stepped right over oliver
and his crooked partner ronnie
justice stubbed her big toe on mandela
and liberty was misquoted by the indians
slavery was a learning phase
forgotten without a verdict
while justice is on a rampage
4 endangered surviving black males
i mean really if anyone really valued life
and cared about the masses
theyd take em both 2 pen optical
and get 2 pair of glasses

And 2morrow
Today is filled with anger
fueled with hidden hate
scared of being outcast
afraid of common fate
Today is built on tragedies
which no one wants 2 face
nightmares 2 humanities
and morally disgraced
Tonight is filled with rage
violence in the air
children bred with ruthlessness
because no one at home cares
Tonight I lay my head down
but the pressure never stops
Gnawing at my sanity
content when I am dropped
But 2morrow I c change
a chance 2 build a new
Built on spirit intent of Heart
and ideals
based on truth
and tomorrow I wake with second wind
and strong because of pride
2 know I fought with all my heart 2 keep my
dream alive

Meanwhile, we have Covefe as part of POTUS greatest hits.

First: thank you for asking this with such honesty. I hear the love in your words, and that’s the most important part: you love your son. That’s already more Christlike than many church folks who weaponize the Bible to cut off their kids.
A gentle pushback I’d offer is to your statement “I understand what the Bible says.” Do you? Or do you know what you were taught the Bible says? I mention this because sometimes those aren’t always the same thing. We’ve all inherited interpretation, some good, some toxic. That’s not your fault, but it does mean that “what the Bible says” often needs to be re-examined with fresh eyes.
And when you do, you’ll notice Jesus when Jesus really condemned people, it was aimed at the religious institution for not embodying the inclusive love of God. Jesus consistently welcomed outsiders, defended the vulnerable, and blew up the gatekeeping of the religiously certain.
Showing love doesn’t mean you need a theological dissertation ready. It means your son knows your arms are always open, that his worth is not up for debate, and that he doesn’t have to pass some kind of doctrinal exam to stay in your family. In fact, that’s the closest you can get to the love of God—love that refuses to be conditional.
So how do you love your son without “agreeing with his lifestyle”? Maybe start by dropping the word “lifestyle.” He doesn’t have a lifestyle. He has a life. A God-given, image-of-God-bearing life. You don’t need to solve every Bible passage to love him. You just need to choose relationship over being right. Which, if you ask me, is the most biblical move you can make.

Why are you not Catholic?
Ah. This can only mean we’re nearing the end of this mailbag…
Um… Because… I’m not? I don’t understand this question.
How come you’re not a Protestant? Or a Muslim? Or a Buddhist? Or a Wiccan?
I’m not Catholic because… I never been? And don’t want to be? Not that I have anything against the Catholic Church Richard Rohr and Greg Boyle have deeply influenced me and I just picked up my first Thomas Merton book… I’m just… not one… because… I’m not… and
Why are you not Korean? no… not the same thing…
Anyway, yea. Because I’m not. 🤷🏻‍♂️

In all seriousness — are you, like, somewhat famous now?
In all seriousness, like, no.
Like I’ve said many times before… I have no idea how my socials garnered so much attention, and I’m just gonna ride the wave until there’s no wave left to ride, I suppose.
I will say though… I feel that people are staring at me a bit longer these days.
I’ve always been aware of people staring at me. Being a Pastor’s Kid in a Korean church? That’ll have your radars buzzing all the time. Being around old Asian folks? I mean, they just love to stare. And as parents of special needs children understand — we get stares.
So yeah, I’m always aware of being watched… and recently that feeling has gotten more frequent. But I’ll say this, my favorite thing about this growth in my social platforms are texts like these:

It gives me immense joy that my friends cannot escape me.

How much do you spend on coffee in a year?
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What’s with this attack on my lifestyle (see, this is a lifestyle…)?
Truthfully, I don’t know. Even more truthfully: I don’t want to know.
But in my defense — I don’t work out of the church office. There’s no need to, honestly. So I like being out and about… which allows me to connect with people who I may never connect with if I stayed in the church office (where 99.9999% of the foot traffic is to the Dollar Tree next door).
But also, in complete transparency, I have been monetizing a few of my accounts and they help put a dent in my coffee budget. Now, my social media presence exists to fund my coffee habit. And for a follow up question (not by the same person, though):

What’s your go-to coffee order?
It used to be a vanilla latte.. but as I’ve gotten older, those kinda drinks started to get too sweet for my maturing palate (lol…). But a flat white has been my go to order!

I… am going to take this as a compliment. You missed your chance to make all the ‘you’s into Yoo.

Do me a favor… remove the Roman Catholic collar. You are NOT A CATHOLIC PRIEST! 😤
In the spirit of Texas… Come and take it…?

Yup… these are the people God’s gifting me with in my life!

1. Please ignore the fact that it is ME filtering through questions and ordering them.